So today, I'm at a little hip vintage shop here in downtown encinitas to replace my cracked sunglasses...and while there, spy this cute puffy little dark gray cotton shrug top..as i eyeball, looks like it'll fit...
the shop is staffed by two lanky pierced tatted 20something guys..and there are a few young women shoppers..i'm the lone ''mature'' person there...
.i ask what looks like the shop proprieter where the nearest mirror is, (none are obviously located in these type of establishments)...
i plan to just put the top on over my very thin t shirt, no need to use a dressing room ..im a bit claustrophobic....
when i hold up the shirt to myself, the dark gray and feminine gathers look amazing with my fair skin -- so flattering!! and it's cheap too!
...i love it when i find something like this..start imagining how cute ill be in various get ups, imagine it with some pretty layered necklaces, camisoles underneath, what makeup ill wear..start setting the scene in my imagination of how great ill look and ill how ill seduce some delectable guy and how he won't be able to resist my charms in my puffy gray cotton top......
...so i pull it on and notice it is a bit snug in the arms but i CAN get it on, (like it's some kind of contest).. but once on i can't get it pulled closed over my ahem, generous, bustline..
..seeing it wont close, or anything close to it..(there are a good six inches between each side).. i disappointedly start trying to take it off....start, try..tug..pull, discreetly twisting...it isn't coming off...it is absolutely stuck on my arms..
..you know when you have something in the back of you and you can't reach behind? like a zippered dress? or a wetsuit or ..you are held hostage by terrorists or ...or you acted out too much in public and the ''authorities'' had to be called and you were ''taken away'' and ''restrained'' ..or that seemingly fun S&M adventure you signed up for went a little off the track ... ??
THAT tight..
..i struggled for several moments..stopped..perspiration..embarassment...and debated ..do i risk tearing this thin cotton ..or do i risk the shame of asking this uber cool tatted hipster to help me get out of this straitjacket..
i glanced over at him and thankfully he was quite studiously avoiding looking my way at my undignified distress, even though he was a few feet away and had to be aware of it
at last *(probably 6 minutes..felt like a lifetime in shame moments) i wriggled free..hung the cute little top on its hanger put it back where it belonged, went to the cash register with my pair of sunglasses, head held medium high and went out into the bright sunday street...my eyes now properly darkened again..
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